![IMG_1543[1]](http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8427/7850262706_79a7f4a0a1.jpg)
As what most couples would say, it is not easy to maintain a
marriage as it takes a lot of effort to overcome personal differences and to
compromise each other. My cousin and her husband is an transnational couple in
which one is born in Singapore and the other is born in Thailand. Putting
language and skin color differences aside, they
faced more inherent differences such as religious belief.
The main problem they faced is
the continued disapproval from my uncle and auntie. They did not receive
blessing from their relatives and friends, but instead, they faced criticisms
and also received negative stereotypical comments about transnational
relationship. Having born as a Buddhist and growing up in a Buddhism family for the past 25years, my cousin is
used to holding joss stick on many occasions. However, due to religious differences,
my cousin’s husband is a Christian and is not allowed to touch the joss stick
because of religious restrictions. On
the day of their wedding ceremony, they are supposed to pray and give thanks to
god, my cousin kneeled down with the joss stick in her hands but the husband
cannot hold joss stick. As a result, this caused numerous criticisms and the
relatives have a bad impression of him.
But
how did they manage to establish a relationship that defies the general norms?
Also, how did they manage to overcome the various religious, cultural and
language barriers that could potentially tear them apart?
Throughout the years, this
couple have been through thick and thin together. The resistances they faced
not only did not separate them but got them closer together as a happy couple.
Without them being through all these, I wouldn’t even have realized that an transnational marriage was a big deal. Their love and support for each other
has reaffirmed my faith that cultural and racial differences need not be a
barrier to any relationship.
Similar scenario actually happened in my family! But this time round is between my mother and my second sister. Every New Year, my mother would instruct us to queue in a row and ask us to take turns to offer joss sticks infront of our ancestral tablets. She would start chanting blessings to us while she sprinkles water over us to represent cleansing. This happens every year, and ever since my second sister converted into a Christian and refused to hold the joss sticks, my mother felt that she had forgotten the Buddhist teachings of thanking the god for their blessings.
Being a Buddhist–Taoist myself, I do not totally understand the rationale behind the fact why Christians are not supposed to hold joss sticks, but the older generation will certainly feel disrespected regarding such persistence. However, we are not to say we should force the Christians to follow our way as it may be a big taboo for their religion. What I am trying to say is that there might not be a way out in striking a compromise in that situation, but your cousin’s husband may have to compromise in other ways or settings to ease the tension between his mother in law and himself. There is always way out and if the mother-in-law is able to understand from his point of view and respect his religion, I believe this marriage would be a success.
I studied about transnational marriages in a module and I must that though transnational marriage is becoming more and more popular and prevalent, the challenges that come with it is still as tough. Your example have proved that effective intercultural communication is not just applicable in jobs, as illustrated in class, but also in everyday lives due to globalization.
=)